Surviving the Holidays?

As the holidays approach, the stress level for many of us goes up. Aside from faking an illness and spending the day alone at home with a good book, your favorite beverage, and a Banquet Turkey Pot Pie, there isn’t really a guaranteed way to have a stress-free holiday.

My earliest memory of preparing for a family holiday gathering is of helping my mother and two of my sisters clean the house for what felt like weeks before the holiday. This memory is from when I was maybe four years old. My age did not let me off the hook for this cleaning.

A little background here, I’m the youngest of six children and my siblings range from 10 to 20 years older than I am. My older siblings, their spouses, and their children were coming for the holiday and everything had to be spic and span. We lived on a working farm, with cows, pigs, and corn. All manner of crop and livestock debris made it into the house daily. Although we scrubbed the bathroom, swept, and dusted weekly, deep housecleaning happened only when guests were expected. My siblings and their families counted as guests.

I can hear you already, “What kind of cleaning can a four-year-old do?” Funny you should ask. I distinctly remember scrubbing the doorsills and doors as high as I could reach. I was small for my age, so I was probably able to reach only to waist level. One of my older sisters was tasked with doing the top half.

I clearly remember my mother’s stress level and drill-sergeant-like direction during this cleaning. When the guests arrived, it took very little time for my two nephews, who were toddlers, to get food all over the floor and to grasp several of the doorsills with their sticky fingers as they tore around the house. All that work seemed like a waste.

I stay sane when hosting holiday gatherings by keeping this preparation and the stress it caused my mother in mind. I do clean a little before guests arrive, but only by getting rid of the “big chunks.” I know that sounds gross. It simply means that I vacuum, dust, and make sure the bathrooms are clean. I don’t mop, and I certainly don’t wash doorsills and doors. Guests track in slush (I live in Wisconsin) and spill their drinks. I save the mopping for after the guests leave. I must confess, I sometimes have a glass of wine before mopping, and I usually crank my favorite music while I do post-party cleaning.

Another sanity saver is asking my guests to bring a dish to pass. My siblings all have their specialties, so this is easy. Although we generally use the same recipes for our traditional family dishes, we don’t all have the same touch. One of my sisters makes the best breads, another makes Snickerdoodle cookies that no one else can duplicate. If I’m not hosting, I’m always asked to bring the veggie platter. I choose not to take that as a commentary on my cooking skills.

I do make a killer pumpkin pie (real pumpkin, homemade crust) that has become a new family tradition.
Speaking of pumpkin pie, my oldest nephew used to love pumpkin pie. Until I ruined it for him. He was eight, and I was ten. My mother had made her “pumpkin” pie. Note the quotation marks. We had a large garden, but we rarely grew pumpkins, so my mother usually made her pies with acorn squash instead of pumpkin. This particular year, that was the case. My nephew was scarfing down his second slice of pie when I felt that I had to inform him that this luscious pie was made from squash and not pumpkin. He turned a funny color, spit out the bite that was in his mouth, and never ate her pumpkin pie again.

My final stress-reducing tip is this: should you feel the urge to weigh in on politics, religion, alcohol consumption, someone taking a second dessert, or be otherwise overly judgmental, take another bite of pie and keep quiet. Maybe that’s where the saying, “shut your pie hole” came from?